2024 Men's Conference - Session 1

[00:00:00] So we are so blessed to have Pastor Josh White all the way

[00:00:03] from Oregon here.

[00:00:04] He's the pastor of Door of Hope Church.

[00:00:07] I think they just celebrated 15 years as a church around that.

[00:00:10] And we've been following his ministry for a while here.

[00:00:13] We're big fans of him.

[00:00:14] He wrote a book called Stumbling Towards Eternity,

[00:00:17] which is an incredible read.

[00:00:18] And we're going to have some copies available here as well.

[00:00:22] We read it as a staff recently.

[00:00:25] And we just got together a few pretend like I'm not here. You ever get a guy that's so nervous he just preaches like this the whole time? Man it's so good to see you guys. My name is Josh White. I'm the lead pastor of a church called Door of Hope in Portland. Yeah as Matt said Door of Hope will be 15 years old this May.

[00:01:41] I was just down in California doing a wedding Portland obviously was in the news a ton. It was a very difficult city to be a pastor during the pandemic. But you know what? It's such a privilege to be somewhere that's truly post-Christian and to find this incredible

[00:03:02] truth. that city is, and it is an exhausting city. I would say Portland is a place where we're so progressive that it makes most liberals look like conservatives. So it's a challenging place, but in many ways it's also a place where not surprising Jesus often moves in

[00:04:22] places where you think he's least likely to exist without us that he is a God whose message is wrapped up not in a bunch of words But is wrapped up in his very personhood a God whose message is down to earth because that is what God has done

[00:05:40] He's come down to earth down to us

[00:05:44] There's an accessibility to Jesus that makes him so

[00:06:45] I remember I was sitting with a table of musicians and I brought up the question. I said, just a question, guys.

[00:06:47] We were talking about books we were reading.

[00:06:49] I said, you know, I'm just curious.

[00:06:52] I'm reading the Bible for the first time.

[00:06:54] I'm not a believer, but I'm like, what do you guys think about Jesus?

[00:06:59] And it was like I literally had stripped naked and asked for everyone to give me a group

[00:07:04] hug.

[00:07:05] It was insane. absolute authority for us as Christians. We preach Christ crucified. Think about that. Do you seek after signs? Think about all the churches today that have fallen into the trappings of an experiential, sensational Christianity. It's all about the experience. It's pride and experience.

[00:08:20] But think about all the churches on the other side

[00:08:23] that are intellectually astute a story. We're gonna look at the thief on the cross tonight, but I want to begin with a story about my dad. My earliest memory is, this is a, it's a deeply troubling memory, but my earliest memory is me in the back of a car. I was three years old, and I'm watching my mom and dad in a fight. In my memory of it, it's weird because what my mom said was going on is that I kept saying, I want my mommy and my dad kept saying, he's my son too. He's my son too. So I'm visiting my father 40 years later, 44 years later.

[00:11:00] And my dad lived in Alaska, he just died.

[00:11:04] Next week will be the two to get him before that.

[00:12:21] But up to this point, he's continued to surprise us

[00:12:24] with his uncanny ability to raise from the dead

[00:12:27] because my dad would go into the hospital, To give you an idea of the state of this house, like I remember going in to take a shower and I turned the hot water on and I'm standing in the shower and all of a sudden I feel these, I noticed the discolored water like dripping on me and I look up and the ceiling was like dark yellow and the water was causing like nicotine to like drip on,

[00:13:41] that's how much my father, it was terrible.

[00:13:43] I had to go rent a hotel just to take a shower.

[00:13:46] And I'm sitting I saw my dad for a moment,

[00:15:03] not as this man who abandoned, he just confessed to me.

[00:16:23] He just, I'm a priest right now. And he's asking God to save his boy and it's I remember the episode An angel appears to him and like and the boys healed and that very scene was on When I looked at the TV and I remember thinking to myself This is some strange Portland and prayed

[00:17:41] Lord, would you save my dad?

[00:17:43] That was my prayer. I

[00:17:45] want to use that as a setup for

[00:18:46] to myself. And I've often thought to myself, that seems like a hyperbolic statement. They're all people drawn to Jesus. And I would argue that every time Jesus is lifted up, all people

[00:18:52] are drawn. But what we get wrong is all people are drawn, but the response is not the same.

[00:19:00] When Jesus was lifted up on the cross, everybody the worst thing that man could do to another man. It was an instrument of torture that was meant to extend pain as long as possible to send an incredible message to the people that you do not wanna rebel against the system.

[00:20:23] It was created to create as much torment as possible What I want you to walk away with tonight is an understanding of grace, because one of the guys got it and the other one didn't. I think it'd be good to give you a good friend of mine, David Zall, his father, Paul Zall, wrote a book on grace that changed my life. It's called

[00:21:41] Grace in Practice. If I could get do you say that and she goes because in Islam you're not told that Allah loves you and you're not told that you have to love Allah you just have to obey you just have to do

[00:23:02] the things that you're told to do it's works it's it's the point. So Jesus has lifted up and He is doing everything that needs to be done. But for us as Christians, I would argue, even as Christians, it's still much easier for us to give than it is to receive. It is so hard to do something. Because we all believe we're products of our nation, first of all, and we live by the Declaration of what? Independence. And Christianity is the antithesis of that. It is the Declaration of total dependence. If the church was to be truly what it ought to be, apostolic church,

[00:25:43] it would function way more like an AA meeting.

[00:26:48] I love this passage because when we look at the two responses, you'll see it's very subtle.

[00:26:56] If we began with the shadow man, the shadow man is what I refer to as the thief. No name is given to either thief. They're just both thieves or criminals. But the way that we want to live our lives. And I saw this in my father because he became a shadow of what he once was. When he was young, he was beautiful. He looked like a more handsome version of Kurt Cobain, long flowing blonde hair, muscular, like the picture of vitality and fun and excitement.

[00:28:20] He was charismatic.

[00:28:21] And then to see him bloated with edema to be a conduit of his love to your neighbor, which is anyone who's beside you in front man next to me, I'm somehow still in control. Sort of the definition of a bully, isn't it? I mean, is that what a bully is?

[00:31:00] If I can belittle the person next to me, at least I'll have some kind of proof that I'm

[00:31:06] not nothing. I lost my record deal after my first single collapsed at radio. And it bombed and we were dropped within, I think, two months of the single being released. There was this complete loss of identity. I was like, what am I? I felt the shadow reality. And here I was married and I was working at a record store for

[00:32:24] minimum wage, newly married, selling my your own level of independence, I always use this as an example. Why are we so offended when our celebrities take their own lives? You know, when a celebrity takes their own lives, it's like really intense.

[00:33:41] It like weirdly impacts people.

[00:33:42] Like when Robin Williams killed himself,

[00:33:44] I was like, it's deeply troubling.

[00:33:46] Or when the chef, what's his name? Shadow man is left in a helplessness before the crucified King because he cannot simply come to him and say, Jesus, help me. Jesus, help me. Only the hardening of the heart. You know, Jesus himself said, not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the

[00:35:00] kingdom of heaven.

[00:35:02] The one who does the will of my father who is in heaven on that day, many will say to

[00:35:06] me, Lord, Lord, did we chase after the shadow that brings us to a place where maybe now we're ready to to Receive our real name our real identity What happens with the other thief Well in the beautiful exchange

[00:36:20] What we're told is that the other rebuked him saying do you not fear God?

[00:37:23] that he is the one who is without blame.

[00:37:25] And what does he do? The moment he acknowledges his own guilt

[00:37:27] and the moment he acknowledges Jesus's innocence,

[00:37:30] he does something fascinating.

[00:37:33] He says, Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.

[00:37:40] And he said to him, truly I say to you,

[00:37:42] today you'll be with me in paradise.

[00:37:45] You know, it's fascinating that he doesn't, that the torture disappears and now you have two friends speaking. And he says Jesus will you remember me? And Jesus without hesitation. Unlike the first thief, I have nothing to say to your anger and to your refusal to recognize

[00:39:00] what you are. I have nothing to say to the man that I know nothing about We have to be very careful to not front load or back load the gospel. This guy can do nothing for Jesus. He's not baptized. There's no works involved at all. It's pure grace. Pure grace. You know, I love my Reformed brothers, but there are times when there is such an attempt

[00:40:24] to avoid making it seem like there is anything to be done on our side. on your worst day, in your worst moment, that God is crazy about you. There's a power here as well as that there's confession. And I always say that confession, we forget, some of us tend to think of forgiveness in these terms, that my sins aren't forgiven until I actually ask for forgiveness for each sin.

[00:41:44] But let me tell you,

[00:41:45] you don't even know the me. So I'm driving, and and the lover of Jesus, immediately flipped him off as well. And then I got to church and I'm like, I'm getting ready to bring the loving gospel of Jesus Christ to my incredible

[00:44:22] people. I'm right into my office and I'm like kind of frantic. And I want you to know I'm human, and I love Jesus, and His grace is good, and He loves you, and you deserve better than that. But don't write in the middle of the road. That was that, I left it. But here's the thing, there's a power.

[00:45:40] It was cathartic, honestly.

[00:45:43] And people laughed, but some people gasped.

[00:46:45] news that all sin has been forgiven. Because anyone I'm preaching to you, I can be preaching in a moment where the Holy Spirit seems to be speaking directly to your heart about the

[00:46:48] beauty of who Jesus is. And I can at that exact same moment be wondering if you really

[00:46:53] like me. Am I a little too intense? Is my appearance inappropriate? All the insecurities

[00:47:01] of my own broken childhood, all those things are then Jesus makes this mysterious statement, but I lay down my life for them. Who? Well, in the context he's talking about the sheep.

[00:48:21] But when I look at this story, it seems like you might be talking about the thief because You're all liars. You're all thieves. And I'm crazy about you. Come to me. All you are weary. Come to me. The grace is unfair. Now I'm not saying that we just die in our sin and just like, ah, so just do what you

[00:49:40] want.

[00:49:41] That's not the point. and I decided to fly him home to meet his grandkids for the first time. This is a few years before that event where I was with him in the cabin, and I hadn't seen him in over five years, and I didn't know that he had had multiple strokes and that his health was depleting quickly. And he gets to the airport, I pick him up, and he is...

[00:51:00] He was so dirty. He was still walking at this point with a little walker,

[00:51:04] and there's my dad. This is the day I picked him up.

[00:51:06] That is Al Wyatt right there. Look at that guy. My dad was angry and frustrated when I had picked him up. I had picked him up in Seattle, and like I told Darcy I would text him, I was about a half an hour away, and he made me stop every five minutes because I wouldn't let him smoke in the car so he could have a smoke break, and he kept drinking these little bottles of vodka. And I mean, it was just so stressful. I was stressed, and I was embarrassed. It's my dad, like he's rough,

[00:52:22] and I told her before he showed up,

[00:52:25] I said, listen, Grandpa, before he goes in her house,

[00:52:27] honey, he's gonna to have a smoke. And he lit up a cigarette, my wife came out on the porch.

[00:53:40] And the book I describe it is both my wife and my daughter and my son, they all have

[00:53:44] what I call cerulean blue eyes. up his cigarette and I was like, this is the moment of truth. This is the moment of truth. She looks at me and she looks at him and I'm like, oh God, she's going to do it. She's going to say it. And then she looked down and all she said was, I really like your boots, grandpa.

[00:55:02] And it moved my dad.

[00:55:03] And he got choked up.

[00:55:06] And he said, thank Jesus, you win. And that's really what Jesus is asking for us to recognize. That's the whole name of this conference, right? Christ is victorious. He has won.

[00:56:21] Why are we not accepting his victory on our behalf? And I just tonight that these men would find a freedom in stepping into the light, confessing their brokenness to you and to one another. I pray that they would find the freedom of in their ability to say, Jesus, without you

[00:57:46] I am lost, help me.